Seattle has had the balmiest weather we’ve enjoyed in summer. It has been pleasant. Trailer life is comfortable. This job is in a quiet neighborhood nestled in the metropolitan area. We are parked as close as we have ever parked to the actual work. The Gypsy Carpenter saw horses are right outside the trailer door. The neighbors have been nice but hardly seen. I don’t have much work because it is a small job. I’ve used my free time to catch up on the trip to Europe and do our taxes.
Speaking of the IRS, I’ll relay this here for the record and your enjoyment. In April I tried to file an extension with not one but two on-line services. Both times I got notices that the form was rejected by the IRS because they could not verify my identity. The IRS uses a combination of factors to verify filer’s identities. In this case they said I was using the wrong 2015 Adjusted Gross Income. It happens that I, and thousands of other filers, was using the right figure. The IRS had a problem at their end. But I didn’t know that yet. I called TurboTax from Mexico. They said file a paper return. From Mexico? I searched the internet for a way to resolve the discrepancy. All I found was file a paper return. I called Dad. I asked Dad to file a paper extension on my behalf. He sent me a link on how to fill out the form. While I was reading it I discovered that if I paid what I owed I did not need to file an extension. Dad read it the same way. I sent check to the IRS and the Montana Department of Revenue.
Two days ago it was time to face the music and do our returns. Burt had been mentioning them every time I asked if he needed my help at work. Need help? No, but you could walk the dogs and do the taxes. I pulled up TurboTax and dug through our records. I hoped I had paid enough back in April. I spent a few hours on on-line. It all looked nice. I had paid enough to both the feds and the state. I e-signed and sent them in. An hour late I received a rejection notice in email. Deja Vu, all over again. I started googling the AGI issue hoping it had been resolved in the meantime. I called TurboTax. They suggested a paper filing. It’s 2017. It seems like a stupid way to go so I called the IRS.
Calling the IRS is not a simple thing. They do not want you to call. Even if you find their number the recorded voice tries to convince you the answer to your question is more easily found on-line. I called and held for 20 minutes. I listened to multiple versions of try on-line and DO NOT HANG UP YOUR CALL WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE ORDER IT WAS RECEIVED. Bad music in between. Suddenly a new voice: We are experiencing technical difficulties. Good-bye. And like that they hung up on ME. Outraged, I called back. I hit 0 until a human got on the line. I asked about identity verification and the AGI discrepancy. He said, “Let me transfer you.” I waited 22 more minutes and heard all the same things. I started to wonder if they were brain washing me. I began to think I could find the answer on-line. I wanted to hang up. Then a woman answered. I listened to her give her name and her bazillion digit long ID code. Did I write it down? No. This is how they get you. I wasn’t really mad, yet. Once I became mad I couldn’t think straight.
I gently explained my ID verification issue. The IRS said: Maybe you need to try a different software program. ME: Are you denying that this is an IRS problem? I read on-line that the IRS has admitted that they have this problem. IRS: I haven’t heard of this problem. ME: You haven’t heard there’s a problem with the AGI and verification? And you want me to redo all my work? IRS: I haven’t heard of the problem. ME: Can I speak to your supervisor? IRS: They aren’t available. ME: Is this call being recorded? IRS: (awkward pause) Yes. Me: Good. Tell me how to fix this verification problem. IRS: File a paper return. ME: So now you know about the problem. IRS: Yes. ME: I don’t have a printer. IRS: (Nasty condescension) You don’t have a printer? ME: No, I do not and there are a lot of people in this world without printers. How can we solve this problem. IRS: I’ll send you the hard copy form to fill out. ME: I just spent hours filling these forms out on-line. Give me another solution. IRS: I don’t have one. ME: You haven’t solved the AGI discrepancy, yet? IRS: No. ME: Where can I print this? IRS: I don’t know. ME: (I KNOW WHERE BUT AM NOT SAYING) I’m not hanging up until you help me figure out where to print my tax forms. IRS: I can mail you the forms. ME: No. IRS: You can print at the Library. Me: Thank you.
Then instead of taking this lying, lazy, incompetent person’s name and number I hung up. I could not get over the fact that they pretended not to know about the identity verification problem. It’s all over the internet. The TurboTax guy knew about it. It’s the IRS’s new identity program and it’s got a major bug. Anyway. This is my documentation (again) of how I tried to get help from the IRS. As a former public servant I get very testy when other public servants are rude and unhelpful.